Phillies
Game WON
Let me just say this. I don’t know who is going to win this series, but I sure don’t hear any of these Yankee fans chirping today. You fucking frauds, where are you? Maybe before you started running your mouths you should have taken a look at the Phillies postseason record the past two seasons. It’s 19-5, including 10-1 at home. And you douchebags thought you’d just walk into the ballpark and beat the Phillies because you are the Yankees. Please, spare me. Take a look at the rosters, take a look at the experience on the Phillies team, and take a look at who has been there recently.
All I hear out of Yankees fans is how obnoxious Phillies fans are. That’s funny. Maybe you’ll have to re-adjust that ‘Yanks in 6′ prediction you guys had at the beginning of yesterday. I hope Pedro goes out and shuts you down again, because I’m sure as fuck not scared of AJ Burnett. But I guess you’ll just win the next four right?
I Guess the Phils Have No Chance
I’m not one for pre-game analysis and predictions. In fact, I fucking hate them. I saw dyed-hair douche tits AJ Pierzynski today on that abortion of a show “ESPN’s First Take” and they asked him what it would take for the Yankees to win the series. After dropping his pants, slobbering all over himself, rubbing his genitals over glossy pictures of Derek Jeter, and performing mock simulations of how he will perform oral sex on A-Rod after the Yanks sweep, they asked him the same question regarding the Phillies.
His response: “Well, I have to admit I’m trying to figure out a way the Phillies have any chance in this series and I really can’t think of any.”
This coming from a major league player who has won a world series ring in the past 5 years. Awesome. Hey ESPN, for your next segment why don’t you have one of your interns take a huge shit in the toilet and ask its opinion on next year’s Kentucky Derby. The point here being, no one is picking the Phillies to win. Yea you might hear some analysts say it will go 6 or 7 games, but they’re all picking New York.
Phillies Fans, I implore you to turn off all pre-game shit, stop reading experts picks, and forget about it all. Nobody knows what will happen (except Biff from Back to the Future). Obviously no one has watched the Phillies play all year. Apparently too many people were watching the Yankees to notice a team that is probably better than them. It’s cool because even when the Phils ’shock the world’, it will be because New York didn’t play well. The only way the Phillies will get any credit is if we win every game 15-3.
You moron Yankees fans seem to have a short memory (see Florida Marlins 2003 World Champions).
Phillies Parade - Top 15 Videos
Here’s the final installment of the City of Pain video rememory of the Phillies’ championship. Today, we look at the parade (along with some of the non-riot moments of the celebration). Hopefully, we’re lucky enough to see this again in our lifetimes. Even if it involves Andy Reid.
This is for Philadelphia
Pat Burrell Says Shit (how did I not know about this?)
Singing We Are The Champions
Harry Kalas Singing High Hopes
Jayson Werth is The Man
Baby Leads the Celebration
World Fucking Champions
The Raising of the Banner
What It Felt Like to Be IN the Parade
Guy Almost Drops His Kid
The Line at the Train
The View from Above Broad and Locust
The View at Broad and Walnut
A Little Package from the AP
Cole Hamels on Letterman
Phillies Riot - Top Ten Videos
so here in part two of city of pain’s rememory of the phillies world series victory, we turn our gaze to the aftermath. we’ve got some car flipping, some curse wording and some bottle throwing. and i don’t regret leaving the ballpark as fast as possible to escape this madness. it’s like day of the dead except the zombies are just drunk philadelphians with bad grammar and cases of natty light.
Hey, Let’s Flip a Car
Let’s Flip Two
Hey, Let’s Rip Down Some Street Signs and a Tree
A Good Long One of The Craziness in the City
The Scene Outside the Stadium
West Chester University Gets Its Riot On
Here Come the Riot Police
The Northeast Gets Crazy
City Hall Time Lapse
The Aftermath on Broad Street
Winner and Still Champion…The Phillies Fan Getting Drilled with a Bottle - The Director’s Cut
Phillies Playoffs - Top 10 Videos
this is the first installment of the city of pain video recap of the phillies championship, riots and parade. it kind of sucks that most of the game shots are from the stands and therefore look like they’re being shot during an earthquake by someone having a seizure. but from the chants of CC to the huge home runs, these capture the moments pretty well. if you’ve got more to add, just leave the links in the comments.
Matt Stairs Hammering the Ball
Guys Hammering Matt Stairs’ Ass
Shane Victorino Grand Slam off Sabathia
Brett Myers’ Walk Heard Round the World
Joltin’ Joe Blanton Goes Yard
(go to about 1:08)
Carlos Ruiz Wins Game 3
(go to about 2:55)
Phillies Win the NLDS
Phillies Win the NLCS
Bonus:
Double Bonus:
Chris Wheeler Celebrates and Harry’s Call of the Final Out
Collective Breath
That’ll Learn Ya - Phillies Fan vs. Gray Goose Bottle
If there’s one thing Philadelphians won’t tolerate, it’s potential damage to their city.
So that’s why someone clocks this guy in the head with a Grey Goose bottle. It’s their little way of saying, “Hey you ruffian, please abscond from that light pole before you cause any malicious harm to that stop light.” Or it could be, “Fuck! I’m out of Grey Goose and I don’t want to carry the bottle. Let me kill this asshole with it.”
And yes, I realize this is a month old and you probably already saw it. Too bad. It’s mesmerizing. Also if you have any other parade/championship YouTube favorites, send the links here or post them on our Facebook group. I’ll get bored and make a Top Ten at some point. The more vandalism and lewd behavior the better…
In Case You Forgot
World Champions!!! Every couple of days we’re going to be putting up some pictures of this championship, mainly to forget the bullshit that the Eagles have been defacating on us recently. The Phillies were just a group of guys who wanted to win every goddam night. It’s pretty simple. You’ve got guys that hustle, that get angry, and get excited. Guys like Shane Victorino, who always seemed to come up big when they needed him the most, carried this team. Whether it was throwing out the runner at home in Atlanta, preserving Lidge’s perfect season, hitting the grand slam off Sabathia in Game 2 of the NLDS, tying Game 4 of the NLCS they had no business winning with a two run homer, or just busting his balls every game in the field and on the basepaths. Shane Victorino, you are now a Phillies legend.
On a side note, check out the pic below. That is NBC 10’s local anchor Jade McCarthy having her pre-coitus champagne bath from the Phillies team members. Allegedly. Hey Jade, rule of thumb here: when you are blond, have breasts and a vagina, enjoy the company of athletes, enjoy the companty of multiple athletes, enjoy the company of multiple athletes fondling you in a hot tub with your Leggs panty hose wrapped around your throat and a ball gag in your mouth, enjoy laughing through your worthless tears, and enjoy the taste of your own blood/mascara cocktail, then feel free to enter the Phillies locker room during a World Series celebration. If not, RUN.
It happened
It did. It really did. WORLD CHAMPIONS OF THE UNITED STATES, NORTH AMERICA, THE WORLD, AND THE UNIVERSE. Words cannot describe what just happened. Years of misery and pain, have turned the city of pain, into a city of joy. People around these parts are going to feel this for a VERY long time. Centuries. I’m going to buy so much Phillies World Champions merchandise that I alone may save the entire US economy and bring it out of the recession. Hats, T-Shirts, grill covers, toothbrushes, scarves, double dongs, oven mitts….you name it. I will own everything. I will go home and re-watched my DVR’d game every day for the next year. Any time the Flyers lose, the Eagles choke away games in the last two minutes, and the Sixers falter, I’m going to smile and watch the 9th inning again. Over and over and over again. I want to hear the roar of the crowd, feel the goosebumps on my arms, and a wet, salty tear run down my face. I will never forget this for as long as I live. I’ve already instructed my parents to have the 9th inning on replay at my funeral in case I go before them.
Remember this night Philadlephia. Get your asses down to the parade. Show the rest of this country what a city does to support their team. Stop being scared at games. Start believing again. In closing, always remember this:
“With (pitcher Johan Santana), now, I have no doubt that we’re going to win in our division,” Beltran said. “So this year, to Jimmy Rollins, we are the team to beat.”
Nice prediction Beltran you faggot. Fuck the Mets! WORLD CHAMPION PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES.
We Needed Hall, We Got Oates
now i don’t mean to disparage john oates. far from it. he’s one half of a legendary philly band that wrote a song that inspired the son of sam killer and a lot of babies named sara. but he makes a perfect analogy for last night’s debacle: we needed hall, we got oates.
before the game even started, there was a crazy energy in the stands. towels waving. people screaming. thousands of crazies outside milling out the tents and trying to get into mcfaddens. it was awesome. and even oates’ performance, in which he asked the crowd to assist was pretty awesome.
but as the game progressed and the weather got shittier and shittier, you could begin to see the connection. the fans came in needing hall, but the weather, fox and major league baseball gave us fucking oates. they knew damn well that this game wasn’t going to finish (witness bud saying that “we thought we had another half hour.” that gets you to 10:30 dickweed. these games have been going past midnight, so this was obviously a poorly calaculated gambit. i fully understand the logic of not cancelling a game at 8:30 when it’s barely raining: the fans would have freaked the fuck out. there would have been such fucking bedlem that you would have thought obama had lost the election. and fox would have been forced to run four straight episodes of hole in the wall, so you know it was completely unacceptable to them.
but why the hell would the teams agree to this? this was a complete farce. as soon as jimmy lost the ball in the fourth, or when cole starts bouncing changeups, or when everyone needs to towel off their lumber mid-atbat, something is wrong. unfortunately, these pigfuckers thought they should take the chance, so here we are. the game has now been moved to wednesday…maybe. but it’s certainly better than trying to play tonight and seeing this shit again:
after all this though, the truth of it is (to paraphase Rich Hoffman), the Phillies didn’t get fucked, but the fans sure did. we’ve got three extra outs, a better bullpen, and last outs if it goes to extras. and you better believe that the bank will be rocking wednesday with 45,000 angry philadelphians (sidenote: i’ve never heard the linc louder than i did after the trent cole phantom personal foul call. not the lito int against dallas. not the to chants. nothing. we are an angry, angry bunch and it shows.)
we win this game tomorrow night. i even believe we win this game in the bottom of the sixth and then hold on for the best nine outs of our lives. i’ll be there screaming for all of us.
BELIEVE
Championship Eve
You don’t want to offend the baseball gods by predicting an early victory, especially when you are a Philadelphia Sports fan; HOWEVER, tonight is a night made for breaking the rules and doing something just a little different. Like winning a world championship.
I was just sitting in my car at lunch and they replayed Harry’s call of Howard’s first home run last night on the radio. The sound that the crowd made when they first heard the crack of his bat against the ball was LOUD. It was one of those Philadelphia playoff roars that you have only heard maybe once in your life. And it scares me to think what that stadium is going to sound like tonight. What does exhaling 25 years worth of complete despair sound like? No one knows, but I think we’re about to find out.
It’s great to think that Harry Kalas is going to get another shot to call a World Series winner. It’s great to think Charlie Manuel gets his redemption on everyone who wanted Jim Leyland to manage this team. It’s great to think that you have a team that is 23-6 in their last 29 and needs to lose three straight games to blow this thing. It’s great to think that Cole Hamels officially puts himself as a top three pitcher in baseball with a win tonight, and a potential 5th playoff win which would break a single season playoff record for any player in the history of the game. I could go on.
I don’t know how much I want to write about tonight. That can come in the days ahead. This is unchartered territory for us. We have our best pitcher in front of a frenzied crowd, and against a team that is one more foot stomp to the head away from a hate crime death. Until then, there is only one thing left to do.
BELIEVE
COWBELLS ARE GAY
I’m not sure what’s more appalling, the fact that the Phils were 0 for 275 with runners in scoring position last night, or the fact that Rays fans use cowbells to create artificial noise. Two points here….the Phillies should have won that game by double digits and Rays fans are generally very ugly and obviously lazy. And here I thought the Thundersticks were gay, but cowbells take the cake. I mean seriously, please stop with those things. Cowbells are for rodeos, not World Series games.
The Phils bullpen is what will ultimately win this series for them. I don’t know where or when Ryan Madson turned into Mariano Rivera, but the guy is pitching on another planet. His level of poonhounding must have skyrocketed in tha bars and clubs too. He deserves it. Lidge, who usually pitches better the second consecutive day, looked solid last night. The Rays haven’t seen a closer quite like him this season.
Even though they’re all big, tonight’s a very interesting game. You’ve got two righties going which probably benefits both teams. You’ve got a Tampa team that has lost two straight game 1s now, and almost certainly feels the pressure of not getting swept at home. The Phillies are not the Red Sox. You’ve got a Phillies team that has to be chomping at the bit to get back out there and hit with men on base tonight. The shit that happened last night is not going to be repeated. You’ve got Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins who looked awful last night…..jesus, where do we even start with these two. No, I’m not going to bash them uncontrollably, but I sure as fuck will say that both of their approaches at the plate last night were absolutely disgraceful and undisciplined. While I commend Rollins and his approach to making the pitcher throw some pitches, he is watching meat missiles get thrown right down the middle of the plate that he could be launching into the Southern Hemisphere. Jimmy, I know you don’t draw as many walks as you should, but buddy, let’s swing at strikes. Work the count to get the pitches that you want to drive. If you swing at another strike that’s eye level I’m going to cut you. Bad. And Howard…..I’m still going to give you a free pass after tonight. You are an MVP, play like it. Stop shaking your head after every pitch you dumb piece of shit.
Are they really afraid of Shields? Really? Please. Win tonight, and take it back to the northeast.
THIS TIME WILL BE DIFFERENT
Can you feel it? Can’t you just visualize what is going to happen in the next week of our lives? The fucking Phillies are going to win it all. It’s finally going to happen. Six or seven years ago the Phils were the last team in this city you’d think would finally break the curse, but here we stand on the door step of a championship. This time is no joke either. The last four opportunities this city had they were underdogs every single time. The Blue Jays were better than the ‘93 Phils, the Red Wings were better than the ‘97 Flyers, the Lakers were better than the ‘01 Sixers, and the Patriots ‘dynasty’ was better than the ‘05 Eagles. This time around (even though Vegas has them as +110 underdogs), the Phils don’t face a better team. Nope. People are enamored with this Rays team, and rightfully so considering they beat two pretty good teams to get to the World Series, but they are young and still playing with house money. Their luck will finally run out.
Vegas odds makers aren’t dumb. They understand how stupid public bettors will throw away their money. The fact that the Rays are close to -140 favorites with little to no line movement tells us everything we need to know. Vegas knows the public thinks that any team that beats the Red Sox should win in all. Vegas knows the public loves to bet on the ‘underdog’, even though they make the Rays the favorites. Think about how smart Vegas is. The know the public is still convinced that the Rays are the underdogs, the young team of destiny, and they make them a decent sized favorite and people still bet them! It’s a joke. Vegas wins when the underdog, odds-wise, wins. And a World Series win by the Phillies gets the money going into their bank vaults.
Why else are the Phillies going to win this thing? It’s simple.
1. Just like in the NLCS, the Phils have the best starting pitcher, the better offense, and the better bullpen. Sounds like a good start doesn’t it?
2. Youth, or lack there of. There always seems to come a point where youth ends up biting you in the ass. This isn’t college sports anymore. Younger players, not to discredit their skills and ability, lack an element of urgency and belonging. The Phillies began this season with one goal in mind: win a championship. While the Rays have an excellent team who has performed at a very high level this year, there is no way they began the season with a World Series in mind. Sorry, didn’t happen. Guys like Jimmy Rollins, Pat Burrell, and Brad Lidge know this is time to get the job done. They have an appreciation for what’s at stake, and the Rays think this is just a time to “go out and have fun”. Take fun and shove it up your asses, Tampa.
3. The Ray’s best pitcher, Scott Kazmir, is not 100%. His fastball doesn’t have its usual velocity. He’s hurt, and it shows. And if your best pitcher isn’t throwing at his highest level, you’re in big trouble.
4. Ryan Howard. The guy has taken a giant shit during these playoffs. Have you ever gone to the Zoo and watched an elephant, a giraffe, or a rhinoceros take a giant, steamy shit that lasts two full minutes and piles a good three feet in the air? Yea, well what Howard has done in these playoffs is double the size of that. He is too good of a player to continue this. He’s going to turn it on when it all matters. His teammates have carried him so far, and now it’s his turn to step it up. He will hit at least three home runs during this series.
5. The fans. For the first time in a very long time, we believe. We finally understand that it’s our time, and we finally understand what it’s like to be the better team and expect to win. Tug McGraw was right, you gotta believe. Just like the last time (and only time) the Phillies won it all, it was the Tugger who sealed the deal. His teammates believed in him and he believed in them. Two quotes about Tug McGraw seem very appropriate right now, because they apply to this team and how they certainly believe in themselves right now.
“The guy was a consummate professional on the mound, but he relaxed in his own way. He had his own way of doing things. There are more than one way to do things and Tug certainly had his own way. He was always ready. I think the one thing that might be the greatest legacy that you can have as a teammate is to be always be ready and Tug was.” - former Phillies teammate Tim McCarver
“Tug and I drove to the ballpark together before that final game (Game 6 of the 1980 World Series) and I made him promise that if he was on the mound for that final out to wait for me. Both of us knew whoever was on or near that mound for the final out would probably be on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Sure enough, it worked. Tug struck out (Willie) Wilson and then turned to look at me at third base. Of course I came running in and jumped on him.” - Mike Schmidt
These guys are fucking READY. Bring it on Tampa you lowlifes. Phils in 5 you pussies.