City of Pain

well, i don’t think anyone saw this coming. both the flyers and sixers have clinched berths in playoffs for the first time together since the 2002-2003 seasons. at the start of their seasons, you probably would have gotten better odds on them both finishing last in their divisions than both making the playoffs.

the sixers seem to have the stronger team, at least on momentum alone. problem is, that unlike hockey, there are some great teams at the top of the conference that the sixers will likely have to face. and if they don’t get a great team, they get a great player, either dwight howard or lebron. the cavs still remind me a little of the early jordan-era bulls. the supporting cast is a steaming pile of mediocrity, that without lebron, would have trouble matching with the heat or the knicks.

the flyers, on the other hand, are limping their way into the playoffs. they could finish anywhere for sixth to eighth at this point. that means montreal, pittsburgh or likely washington. if washington loses and carolina sneaks in, we want the hurricanes like bob clarke wants his job back. if not, i want no part of washington because huet’s been playing well and ovechkin is a beast that could single-handedly beat this team. they don’t have much line depth, so maybe we’d have a chance. in the end, there’s no team to beat in the east and, like always, a hot goalie can win you a round or two. watch marty tomorrow for signs of him standing on his head.

we’re excited here at city of pain for the double-playoff spring…just because it distracts us from the phillies bullpen and thoughts of self-mutilation. i’m thinking one of them gets out of the first round, but i’m not making a prediction until i see who’s on the other bench.

This just in:  The Sixers continue to sodomize weaker opponents.  Andre Iguodala continues to throw down massive tomahawk dunks that are so ignorant they make Dick Vermeil cry.  Lou “Snake Eyes” Williams and Thaddeus “Fudge Python” Young seem to have no ceiling in terms of ability.  Andre Miller may talk like Michael Jackson but he can dish out assists easier than a 12 year old girl can gain access to a Mark Chumura Hannah Montana themed birthday sleepover.  Anybody seen my pajamas?  And why is there a hole cut out of the back of them?

It’s gotten to the point where you look at the schedule and you see the Sixers beating 85% of the teams coming up.  Phoenix?  Win.  New Jersey?  Win.  Cleveland?  Another win.  At this point the only things that can stop the Sixers are a terrorist attack on the hotel they’re staying in, a team wide STD outbreak (most likely stemming from a Reggie Evans Popsicle party), SARS, and of course Chuck Norris. 

Who wants to play these guys right now?  Step on up.

The Philadelphia 76ers are playing like someone cut off one of their tits, and they’re pissed. We’ve gotten to the point where Andre Iguodala looks like an All-Star almost every night, Andre Miller looks like the best point guard in the league, Sam Dalembert looks like one of the best defensive players all year, and Thaddeus Young is turning out to be an unbelievably great draft pick. Basically we may be looking at a team that could cause some serious problems to any team named Detroit or Boston in the playoffs, and straight up beat any other team. Thank you Billy King. Seriously.

And to top it all off, we just beat the best team in the NBA. Fuck you Boston! Assholes and asshole fans! You deserve nothing less you pieces of shit.

this was probably one of the highlights of my sixers viewing season. i don’t get to watch every game, and even this one i only saw the last third or so. but damn, that was a great shot fake. and i was a big iverson fan when he was here (the only thing i didn’t like about him was that my being so different a player, we were doomed to slightly above average teams), but seeing him get played like that…that was like icing on the cake.

in a sense, it’s like iverson’s our big brother. he was the man when we were younger, he went off to college and came back after his sophomore expecting us to be the same old pile of nothing. but no, we’ve blossomed. we’re a woman now and all his friends want our hotness, and we’re putting on a show at the house party and we might have had too much to drink, and what was in that cigarette, and no, i don’t want to play strip ping-pong, and what am i supposed to do with that thing?

that’s sort of how it feels to make the playoffs in the eastern conference this year. 

 Tyrone Hill and Family?Yep, they were recently spotted dining at the Sizzler near Temple University.  They were gracious enough to allow City of Pain to take a picture and let the rest of Philly know that they still have roots in our city.   Often referred to as the “Kennedys of the NBA” the Hill family doesn’t hold back when going for a night out on the town.   You can see this tight knit group enjoys spending every waking moment together, and they often dream of a night in the not so distant future when Tyrone will return to Philadelphia Glory.  “I know someday my number will be hangin’ in those rafters.  You’ll see, you’ll see.”We wish Tyrone and his family all the best and look forward to catching up with them at Dr. J’s Golf Tournament this upcoming spring.