City of Pain

Before we start here……I contemplated posting on the Sixers, but was so disgusted with them and their abortion of a performance last night that I decided against it. I think aliens came down to earth and abducted a team that was supposed to be good. Note to Ed Stefanski: Ed, I think I like where you seem to have this team headed, but let’s face the facts here. You dropped the ball giving Igudola that contract. Shame on you. Dalembert doesn’t give a shit out there when he is playing, and he does not have it in him to make himself an elite player. He’s content where he’s at, and that’s unacceptable. Trade Andre Miller as soon as you think you can get the most from him. Build the team around Brand, Young, Speights, and maybe Lou Williams, and go from there. Thanks for listening, Ed.

Hey, how about some Monday Morning recap from this weekend for a change? The NFL is so fucked up that I just need to vent.

Am I really seeing this?

I’m not going to sit here and say the Giants are overrated. I don’t think you can make that claim anymore, but how in the fuck did they get to this point? You lose Strahan, Usi, and no Plaxico and you are still steamrolling everyone in sight? It’s totally nauseating on multiple levels. I can’t even say Eli sucks anymore because he doesn’t. I want to shoot myself just admitting this. They have obviously drafted out of their minds and apparently bought into General Coughlin’s ‘team’ mantra. Gee, imagine that Eagles fans. A real team. A team that has great lines on both sides of the ball, a team that executes plays properly, and a team that runs the ball down your throat. The Giants have a 50/50 run to pass ratio on the season. There is one other team in the NFL that has the same ratio. Can you guess who that may be? Hint: They play in the state of Tennessee and are also 11-1.

Thanks for playing this year you overrated gang of numbnuts

Eagles, Chargers, Saints, Packers, and Jags – In a year where parity seems to be at an all-time high, you’d think all of these teams who have been looking up to the Patriots and Colts in recent years would seize the opportunity and make their move. Didn’t happen. Tom Brady goes down in the first quarter of the first game of the season, Peyton Manning has one knee, the Steelers have the hardest schedule (on paper) in the history of the NFL, and no one makes the move. The two teams carrying the most shame have to be the Chargers and Jags. I’m still baffled as to how the combined record of your two teams is 8-15. The bright side is that you don’t play in Philadelphia, where your hotels would have been fire-bombed weeks ago by an angry mob of Phillies World Championship gear wearing hooligans. This is a reminder of how anyone who prognosticates a team’s schedule before the season should be set on fire in front of their family. JUST SAY NO PEOPLE.

Team Schizophrenia

These are the teams that are good one year and then shitty for 4 years. These are franchises that 50% of all Eagles fans MAY consider trading places with just to feel the occasional ball tease of winning. Welcome Seahawks, Bears, Ravens, Redskins, Panthers, and Broncos. Three of these teams are Super Bowl winners while the other three have been in the Super Bowl within the past 4 years. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.

Nominees for the Mediocrity Hall of Fame

Year after year the same bullshit teams go between 4-12 and 8-8 like clockwork. They’re never good enough. That would be you Vikings, Cardinals, 49ers, Rams, Bills, Texans, and Browns. Throw out each team’s best year over the last 10 and you’re left with a bubbling pile of cat shit. These teams are more offensive than the bottom of the barrel teams (below), simply because some analysts will pick you as a dark horse team and then you get donkey punched in the back of the head and take an obligatory nosedive every year. Even Eagles fans feel bad for you, and that’s saying a lot. You have to wonder how coaches, GMs, scouts, and anyone else in these organizations have jobs year after year. If you owned a company and lost money every year, would you keep the same employees on your staff continually? This baffles me.

Bottom of the Barrel Slop

Bengals, Lions, Raiders, Chiefs, and Jets. Yes, the Jets are on this list because this Brett Favre year doesn’t count. Sorry. And honestly, I do feel bad for Jets fans. I don’t even consider them a New York team. They’re just The Jets. They play in a city with teams that have won championships, yet their claim to fame is people sexually harassing women to take their tops off at games. Honorable, but not when it comes to winning. And for Favre….eventually his game-killing interception moon balls will catch up to him and before you know it, it’s 2009 and you’re struggling to win five games while vomiting blood again. The rest of the teams on this list should receive the death penalty like the NCAA gave SMU. Seriously. I mean, as an Eagles fan in the mid to late 1990s, I fully understand how being awful isn’t that bad. Eagles fans knew we’d be good eventually and we at least had fun tailgating, rioting, fighting, urinating in sinks, and getting blacked out at games while we did suck. The rest of these teams? They’ll never be good so we might as well just get rid of them forever.

What does all of this mean? Nothing. City of Pain Super Bowl prediction: Steelers 31, Giants 21.

i’m sure we’ve all heard the story by now: paul holmgren has been talking to peter forsberg about signing up with the flyers once his feets are in order. it seems like the perfect time to introduce dr. philly, our little look at the fragile psyche of athletes and how seemingly innocuous goings on (like bringing back an all-time top 20 player) are filled with strife and pain.

while it sounds like a fantastic idea, the re-addition of forsberg creates some dangerous psychological situations. if you like it all the “leaders” that were already on the team (hatcher, gagne, richards) and all the new “leaders” we brought in (briere, timmonen, smith), the last thing we need is a former alpha dog coming back. while he may not try to carry any mantle of leadership when he comes back with 30 games to go, some level of deference is inevitable. after all, this is fucking peter “my beard has more hockey sense then you” forsberg.

this team is set up for a major bounce back. let’s not literally go back and put #21 back on the ice. it’s just not worth the mental confusion for our once and future stud players. yes, he was a point a game player last year, but you know what? guess who else sat at home for the playoffs?