We Needed Hall, We Got Oates
now i don’t mean to disparage john oates. far from it. he’s one half of a legendary philly band that wrote a song that inspired the son of sam killer and a lot of babies named sara. but he makes a perfect analogy for last night’s debacle: we needed hall, we got oates.
before the game even started, there was a crazy energy in the stands. towels waving. people screaming. thousands of crazies outside milling out the tents and trying to get into mcfaddens. it was awesome. and even oates’ performance, in which he asked the crowd to assist was pretty awesome.
but as the game progressed and the weather got shittier and shittier, you could begin to see the connection. the fans came in needing hall, but the weather, fox and major league baseball gave us fucking oates. they knew damn well that this game wasn’t going to finish (witness bud saying that “we thought we had another half hour.” that gets you to 10:30 dickweed. these games have been going past midnight, so this was obviously a poorly calaculated gambit. i fully understand the logic of not cancelling a game at 8:30 when it’s barely raining: the fans would have freaked the fuck out. there would have been such fucking bedlem that you would have thought obama had lost the election. and fox would have been forced to run four straight episodes of hole in the wall, so you know it was completely unacceptable to them.
but why the hell would the teams agree to this? this was a complete farce. as soon as jimmy lost the ball in the fourth, or when cole starts bouncing changeups, or when everyone needs to towel off their lumber mid-atbat, something is wrong. unfortunately, these pigfuckers thought they should take the chance, so here we are. the game has now been moved to wednesday…maybe. but it’s certainly better than trying to play tonight and seeing this shit again:
after all this though, the truth of it is (to paraphase Rich Hoffman), the Phillies didn’t get fucked, but the fans sure did. we’ve got three extra outs, a better bullpen, and last outs if it goes to extras. and you better believe that the bank will be rocking wednesday with 45,000 angry philadelphians (sidenote: i’ve never heard the linc louder than i did after the trent cole phantom personal foul call. not the lito int against dallas. not the to chants. nothing. we are an angry, angry bunch and it shows.)
we win this game tomorrow night. i even believe we win this game in the bottom of the sixth and then hold on for the best nine outs of our lives. i’ll be there screaming for all of us.
BELIEVE
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