A PHANTASTIC BEGINNING
Apr 03, 2008 in Phillies
Another brilliant start to the season by your Philadelphia Phillies. Get’s you excited doesn’t it? Throw out your two best pitchers against the high powered Washington Nationals in the first two games and lose both. Sound familiar? Here are the Philadelphia “we need to get off to a good April” Phillies record since 2004 after their first four games:
2004 – 1-3 (they would eventually get to 1-6)
2005 – 1-3
2006 – 0-4
2007 – 1-3
2008 – 0-2 and counting
In case you’re not counting at home, that is a 3-15 record. It’s a disgrace. How about starting a season 3-0, or 4-1? How about not trying to dig yourself out of a hole by the end of April and then playing catch up the rest of the year?
On a side note, I attended last night’s Dollar Dog/Free T-Shirt/College Night Fiasco and I’d just like to say the following:
1. The Dollar Dogs taste like afterbirth. I haven’t had something that disgusting in my mouth since those weekend Boy Scout trips back in the second grade with my church group. The memories are so vivid that, upon taking those first few bites, I found myself laying in the fetal position behind one of the beer stands last night, sobbing. Tents, crickets chirping, whiskey breath, the other boys screaming, priests, beard stubble, lies……The ‘hot dogs’ are cold and I think they may actually be made out of real dog meat. They should sell them for 50 cents and give it to charity, or…..
2. They should set up a booth back by the Chikie’s & Pete’s crab fry stand where the 18-21 year old college girls can have a wet t-shirt contest, peep shows, or beer chugging contests in which we award them cash prizes. Teens for Cash, it’s perfect!
3. If the Phillies are stupid enough to continue having College Night, then they need to make sure they complement those nights with Dollar Dog Night. It should be a universal law. There is nothing better than seeing four thousand wasted college students buying five aluminum foil wrapped hot dogs a piece and then launching them from the top deck onto people and onto the field during play. Seeing 75 shining meat missles flying through the air per second is a sight to behold.