City of Pain

wanted: one crazy ass white dude to play special teams and a little linebacker, not take stupid penalties (this means you matt mccoy), not be able to be tossed around (sorry mark simoneau) and have actually won something once in his life.

ladies and gentlemen, meet rocky boiman. a kind of large linebacker who will be backing up all three positions come september for your philadelphia eagles. and hopefully smacking people in the mouth on special teams.

and like 3 out of 4 eagles free agent pick ups, he’s got a super bowl ring that he didn’t get off ebay.

those crafty augustians have done it again. with their reflective crossing guard uniforms (seriously jay wright, does nike know something about you?), villanova has advanced in the ncaa tourney to face the juggernaut siena saints, a franciscan school. you know what happens when two catholic schools get together, don’t you?

oral. lots of oral.

so temple is out. the joe and the nova live on. as an equal opportunity fan of the big 6, i mistaken picked all three philly teams to advance one round. why the hell not i suppose?

the interesting thing is that i can see us in a similar place come late february next year…unless of course villanova gets its head out of its ass. then everything might be ok.

and while fran dunphy does have a great mustache, i do miss the raspy nonsense of coach chaney and moments like these:

this was probably one of the highlights of my sixers viewing season. i don’t get to watch every game, and even this one i only saw the last third or so. but damn, that was a great shot fake. and i was a big iverson fan when he was here (the only thing i didn’t like about him was that my being so different a player, we were doomed to slightly above average teams), but seeing him get played like that…that was like icing on the cake.

in a sense, it’s like iverson’s our big brother. he was the man when we were younger, he went off to college and came back after his sophomore expecting us to be the same old pile of nothing. but no, we’ve blossomed. we’re a woman now and all his friends want our hotness, and we’re putting on a show at the house party and we might have had too much to drink, and what was in that cigarette, and no, i don’t want to play strip ping-pong, and what am i supposed to do with that thing?

that’s sort of how it feels to make the playoffs in the eastern conference this year. 

that’s right kids. we don’t need randy moss or larry fitzgerald because we’ve got dan klecko, the latest in a long lineage of white fullbacks that includes kevin turner and jon ritchie. not sure why we wouldn’t use him as a defensive tackle either because we have bunkley, patterson and…not a lot else. he has won three super bowl rings so he must be doing something right.

and he might like andy reid look less fat when they stand next to one another. so there’s that.