City of Pain

Brace yourself Philly. Donovan McNabb is going to be interviewed on Sportscenter tonight, most likely complaining about something. There will be articles in the papers about it tomorrow and we will all dissect his comments like McNabb will be dissecting 50 wings a day after he retires. Jumbo wings. Some of the issues he will be commenting on this evening will probably be:

• The Eagles lack of big weapons at wide receiver.
• How he will ‘just go out there and try to win games and not focus on the off-field stuff’.
• How he’s just trying to do his job.
• How he wants to retire as an Eagle.
• How he has not spoken to Andy Reid since the season ended.
• How he just has fun out there.
• The fact that he has gotten over being booed on draft day.
• How he is almost 100% recovered from his knee injury.
• How he loves Philly.

What else did we miss? Is he going to drop some crazy revelation? Is he gay? Does he enjoy eating human waste? Has he ever done ecstasy and danced in front of a mirror with glow sticks? Does he check other teammates out in the shower and then go home and rank them in a secret notebook? Come on Donny, give us something. Comments coming tomorrow.

dear god, it’s me, dj robbie. you know, your favorite foul-mouthed philly sports blogger. i wanted to thank you for answering my prayers for a new phillies third baseman. and while you may have under delivered (cabrera or blalock would have been nice), pedro feliz is acceptable. the man can field and hit (note to abraham nunez: they’re both important), he’s got a little pop, and most importantly, he’s not wes helms.

if thou shalt allow me to read from thy greatest tome, espn.com, it looks like we can safely expect 20 homers as well as 20 double plays from pedro. he’s got enough speed (or line drive power) to have averaged 30 doubles in his time. and god, if you can find the time, improve pedro’s batting eye so we don’t have another 100 K hitter clogging our line up.

And god, i take back all those mean things i thought this morning about ruben amaro and pat gillick when i heard “what you see is what you get” as far as this roster. just put those locusts back where you found them.

thanks for listening.

sincerely,

dj robbie

p.s. just one more thing. ryan howard is not going anywhere until 2011. he may still be the black rob deer. and i don’t want to see this cheap team stuck with a $12 million a year black rob deer. i’d rather pay through the nose if he stays the course in 2011. so please god, remind people that spending money unwisely is what gets this team into trouble. if he wants to bitch because he’s making $10 million (or more) a year for the next 5 years, good for him. it’s baseball. he can go hang with scott rolen.